Are you learning the English Language ?

Let’s face it- English is a crazy language.

My nine year old son came home one night with a home work about  HOMONYMS.

If you learned proper English grammar and usage , you would know what HOMONYMS are.

So we sat down together and I tried to explain how hard the English language is to understand and how one word can change the whole context of understanding…………..so many meanings for one word.

We came up with a pretty long list of HOMONYMS, and we were really having fun with it  until we came to the word  UP .

You, lovers of English language might enjoy this….there is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP”

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, what is the first thing we do in the morning? We wake UP. At a meeting,  why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends, and we put a light UP to brighten UP a room, we love to warm UP the leftovers and cleaned UP the kitchen.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP of excuses.

To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable  about the proper use of the word UP, look it UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4  of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it,  you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of  your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may come UP with a hundred or more.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so…..it is time for me to shut UP….

MY BIRTHDAY BASH!

Yesterday is my special day, the day I was born.

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I seldom very much celebrate it but decided to make it special this year  because I am 35 years old which many people don’t really believe when I say that.

The sad truth is I am a 35 year old woman gone past the days of  wild   youth partying and drinking  as most younger generation is of now.

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I am now a mother and my mindset totally shifted to a more focus,mature and dedicated to the goal and job at hand – raising my son alone.

I wanted my son to be a better version of me and most of all to have my strenght and few of my weaknesses.

I wanted him to grow up confident and ready to face the challenges growing up brings.

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I wanted him to feel secure in his own abilities and limitations.

Best of all, I wanted him to reached the pinnacle of success farther than I ever did in my own life.

That I guess, is the best gift anyone can give a child.

FAMILY TIME

Time flies by.

Kids grew up quickly

Friends move away soon

This is the reality of life.

Life sometimes can be unfair.

The only thing good to do about it -is to triumph with effort  on every brink of hopelessness and despair.

Sometimes, we only knew how strong we are once we survive life’s ordeal- good and bad.

When was the last time I took the time to ponder about life ?

Long lost times ….

My pondering moments are getting more and more lately….

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Our careers have taken away so many precious moments to stop and reflect about it.

Until  then we realized, we can’t stop the clock and reverse our life back.

Don’t let your job take away your precious time meant to spent to the people that is close and important to you. ….sometimes we lose that wonder…and sometimes we only found ourself again after something really either bad ot terrible that we tend to get back to our senses.

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Sometimes, when we lose our way…that is when really  find our way…

After all I went through , I finally found I am a stronger person.

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At the start of making this blog, I wanted to put my thoughts , just all of it…it liberated me of the burden I had so long carried with me…and in the process found and form some friendships here.

I want to appreciate everyone’s little precious time spent on  reading my entries. Though it still puzzles me to see that I have lots of  visitors from all over the world, the thought alone made me realize that we can find friends in any way, in any manner, in any mode….there is always someone we are destined to meet that will make us smile.

Life is short.

I felt I have no right to take it for granted…I can only wish….to be grateful each day.

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Learn to deflect…Don’t absorb

Two days ago, I went for a coffee date. As usual, I was early and dragging along my son with me who was more concern with his planned sugary doughnut to order ,  we settled  in a table near the entrance way.

We waited for a couple minutes before this old lady I am meeting arrived, and then shortly after we ordered together.

It was Tuesday afternoon, hot and humid, too many old folks in the coffee shop popularly called Tim’s- short for Tim Horton’s.

We were on the middle of our happy conversation, when a middle aged-big bellied man sitting alone, which I hadn’t ‘t notice how long he sat there meanly said in a voice loud enough for the nearby table to turn heads “boy, you let all those stuff  fall in there, now people will step on it ! common, what you doing?

My son surprised, never said a word and just looked down while I checked what was it that he did, since I really didn’t notice anything as he was sitting in front of me.

The man turned to me and said, “the gum that is stuck underneath the table, look at it, people will now step on it ! I managed to looked and I saw dried blue gum that hardened like a toy clay scattered on the floor.

Embarrassed and a bit annoyed, I just picked it up myself  and managed to say in a murmur  ” It should not be in there in the first place anyway”. Well, his hands shouldn’t be there in the first place responded the irked man.

I never said a word again and we left the place right away. As soon as we are out, I asked my son what happened there? and he said that “grumpy man needs to mind his own business” I did not do it in purpose, I was holding under the table and I felt something and then touched it and it suddenly fell. I didn’t want to, I didn’t mean to…but he made me look bad.

I was stunned at what my 8 year old boy said, and so I told him, his actions can be interpreted by people in ways they perceived to be true. As you grow up you will encounter a lot of people like that and you have to be ready to deal with them.

I believe it is necessary to learn how  to effectively deal with aggressive people, because they are in our lives. It is important to deflect their cannon balls.

Often, we stand in front of the aggressor’s verbal blast like the guy in the early CBC Vignette who stops steel balls shot from a cannon with his stomach.

 Similarly, we must learn how to deflect verbal blast past us, instead of internalizing the negative energy.

Deflect negative energy and ideas, don’t absorb them.Listen to a person’s thoughts, feelings, values, and beliefs, but don’t accept them as “the truth, only “their” truth. Take what makes sense but don’t accept it all.Each of us has  our own perception of “truth”.

A deflection might sound like this: “Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings, values and beliefs with me. I appreciate what you say; however, it is not how I see it.

We need to take a page out of a martial arts handbook if we want to learn how to deflect another person’s energy, how to step aside and  let the strenghtMale_martial_artist_c6ba of their aggression-verbal or physical pass us.

These individuals certainly have power and believe they are right, but we don’t have to stand still and be their target, absorb their negative energy, agree with what they perceive as truth.

We can deflect, not fight or disagree and then introduce our own truth.The real truth is that both truths are valid.

BACK TO SCHOOL WOES

Think of all the children moving away from home  to be in school all day again.

My son is one of thousands leaving home heading back to school all day this fall. ( Am I the only parent brimming with pride and having nervous breakdown simultaneously? )

PROGRESS. EXPANSION. CHANGE.

Three words. It’s fascinating and exciting.

Sometimes, I wonder, that maybe it does not matter what I do right now.

I can put him in piano lessons and soccer, I can bring him to a fellowship every Sunday.

I can shower him with lots of love.

But once he becomes a teenager…well sometimes with or without me- in the end my son will grow up to become the person he was meant to be.

All I can do right now is to do my best to lead him in the right direction.

Kids are people too, once they start getting older they make decisions.

My son is facing a tremendous milestone in his life right now. Big changes, that sometimes made me think, he is growing fast like a whirlwind and it made me feel : I wanna be part of anything he’s going through right now, get as much bonding as I could and cherished every moment of reading books, telling silly jokes and all.

pretending to be a Prince

pretending to be a Prince

He enjoys this  FLEXOAM -foam building and sculpting system for kids  and turn it into a crown

He enjoys this FLEXOAM -foam building and sculpting system for kids and turn it into a crown

Last month, he learned to ride his bike without training wheels, I was one of the many mothers wondering why my son had been so reluctant with his grip, balance and flexibility with riding , he can ride the horse with Dad’s help without any problem, it took him sometime with the bike.

Few weeks ago, he went on for the boy’s choir audition for one of the internationally recognized chorale group here.

When I looked at my son, I saw myself in him, hard to comprehend but that tiny sparkle in his eyes while singing songs he was asked to sing demonstrates a star in the making….he may never get to shine like the brightest star but I can envision that Music is likely another area he will excel in the future.

I was nervously waiting for the outcome, and how is he going to react to rejection if it happens, but my son at an early age shows sophisticated optimism, before the audition he told me he will be alright, after all it is just an audition he can try again next time.

When he was done, we waited eagerly for the announcement, and when we both heard the “welcome aboard buddy”.

He took it simply with a nod and a smile while I found myself leaping in between giggles.

It created quite a stir with other mother’s nearby but were simply just nice enough to accomodate my sudden outburst of emotion.

But come to think of it.

The best performers in the world be it music, sports, dance , whatever field of endeavor it may be; most does not excel with talent alone- most of them triumph with effort.

When talent and effort combined together , there is a synergy often powerful enough to produce perfection.

LONELY REALITY OF BEING ALONE

I’ve shaken up by a major life change three times.

Becoming a mother, getting married and moving to a new country.

These big milestones challenged my long-held belief about who I am.

The thing about having a baby, getting married and moving to a new country is that;  it’s not like putting a new chandelier in the dining room.

It is a big change and it changes everything.

It is scary to look at my life and realized that it bears almost no resemblance to my former existence.

When I left the Philippines five years ago, I have no idea that forming new friendships  can feel daunting.

I am a normally outgoing, fun-loving , friendly creature who never had problems in the past making friends and or having friends.

Five years passed by and here I am – still no close friends.

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While I have a tight-knit group of pals back in the Philippines, I have yet to find any girlfriends in my new town.

“I missed that female connection”, just being with my husband and my son doesn’t make me feel 100 percent  complete.

When I first came, the first thing I did was to meet up with my ethnic community for friendship, though my social calendar filled up quick with invites for lunch and coffee, it wasn’t  until last year that I realized  I needed more meaningful relationships, friends I could count on in an emergency.

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I remembered I was washing dishes and I cut my hand-deeply-on a glass. I had no idea where the nearest ER, or how I would get there, my husband was away for a trip. And I did’nt feel like I knew anyone well enough to ask for help.

I manage to administer first aid treatment once my total composure came back, knowing that my young son was around to witness it, I tried calmly as I can to display an attitude of  ” mommy will be alright”.

Then came a series of half-hearted incidents like my son knocking off his bike and diving mouth first.

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Then getting stuck in the ditch on a slippery winter road on the way to drop my son to school ( those few years  back when I was too naive not to have a CAA membership for roadside assistance and other car problems) 

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The one time my husband was away again that particular time, no one offered help in my neighbors, I didn’t have anyone to asked help for, broken fences in the pasture needed fixed, my son and I helped each other drag the big horses along while we walk them back inside the property one hand with several carrots and the other hand motioning where to go.

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That particular night we were able to put them back inside but hurt my hand so badly, I fractured my middle finger when one of the horses got wild and suddenly kicked, a crisp of fear shivered through me, a realization that in a twinkling of an eye…I or my son could be seriously injured.

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Then last Tuesday again, they broke the same fence, it happened when we were about to feed them nightime oats, but this time it wasn’t bad but still I brought the attention to my husband and told him, I guess “I am ready to have no horses”

My son adored the horses as much as my husband , they both seemed to have a particular liking and rapport with the horses, I didn’t . I was too scared of them.

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So, came the verdict yesterday ” no selling horses, fences will become either a barb wire or electric ones” after a careful thinking and asking my son and my husband, that we will have to sell the horses.

They won. I am fine . I came to love the horses too. In few weeks time, the old 15 years old fences will be replaced. My husband is arriving tonight, he does a lot of travelling across provinces lately.

Up until that point, everything had been a kind of vacation, still new and exciting…and then yet all of a sudden now, I realized…

“This was life.”

Between juggling work, marriage, kids, and everything else..for the first time in my life.” I felt , I was missing out on girls night and other female stuff”

Even though, I had found a few neighborhood pals, still I hadn’t found “the one” – a friend I truly feel at ease with and can confide in.

My other friends from work were all a bit older  and have older kids, I didn’t have many women my age to hang out with.

I want someone who could pop out on a Friday evening for a drink and just to talk about our daily lives or the latest episode of  ” American Idol” or the latest fashion trend.

I want someone with at least younger kids or same age  that my only son could play with and socially grow as a little human being.

I wanted my son to grow up socially rich in human exposures that would help shape his decisiveness in his future choices with a mate or a friend.

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I even enrolled him in a summer camp, in Mini-U  for two weeks for friendship and exposure opportunity for both of us.

For me, forging new adult friendships can feel as dreadful as dating. “It’s like I haven’t  felt the spark yet”.

At times, I have met someone who I think is cool, it feels awkward and pathetic to ask to meet up, like I am begging them to be my friend.

But, I hadn’t given up. After my son’s 8th birthday party recently, I decided to send out an email to the other moms who attended. ” I’m inviting them to a tasting party ( ethnic foods) just one replied back, “I’m still plugging away”.

I think it takes work to cultivate new friendships and it can feel  especially tough when I am juggling my career and my family and I no longer have the luxury of aimlessly hanging out with people for hours like I did when I was much younger back in my country.

But, I am willing to reach out. I knew I can find a new  partner in crime 😉

Desperately seeking : a new friend 😦

Insatiable Mind 🙂

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