Mate Quest

How it all started…

I hadn’t really wanted to marry at all.

I wanted to make something of myself, not just give it away.

But I knew if I did’nt marry I would be sorry. Only freaks didn’t .

I knew I had to do it quickly, too, while there was still a decent selection of men to choose from.

My doctor friend  might be right about personality not hardening until thirty, but old maids started forming at twenty-six. I was twenty-eight.

The heavy pressure was on.

In years  I was still safe, but in distance I was borderline.

I had finished college and started graduate school.

The best catches were being picked off while I was educating myself right out of the running.

I had altered my ambitions  once for love.  I didn’t dare do it again.

My first love, philosophy, still claimed me.

Now, I had to choose a mate  who would share me with it.

That ruled out Prince Charming.

After a lot of careful thought I chose Wink. Not that he was perfect- no one is.

But I was fond of him, none of his parts were missing, and unlike all the other eligibles I knew, he seemed willing  and able to make a little room in his future for mine.

Wink Knight was in the Waste Water Treatment Plant in City Hall as the Manager.  He had a perfect name for a title page and a government employee, which meant he probably had a good future.

It was an important point for me, because if we were  both going to be teaching, my husband  would have to be able to get a job at a university large enough to accomodate me, too.

Like me, Wink is very much self-sufficient and independent. From Manitoba, Canada and thirty, he had come farther and further than I. I would have preferred someone from my lineage, but heres  what a man who loved things about me I never knew existed.

The changes comes of maturity. When I was young I wanted the future to be unimaginable. I was on my way, in motion.

Life changes quickly in my 20’s. I’m in a fast car. Marriage is some old coot riding the brakes. But eventually, the clouds clear and I can see the future.

One of the things I realized is that if I could find someone just right, someone who loved me like the best pal I ever had and the worst crush I ever had, it would be awfully nice to have that person in the seat beside me all along the way.

Wink was encouraging, tough and honest. He was just what I needed to bring out the best in me.

If anyone had told me that this man not only would become a friend but also would have a huge impact on my life, I would have shaken my head in disbelief. 

A man of few words, he taught me something about the human heart.

And so in  a hot April night we decided to be married in the Tropics.




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