The Transformation

ONE CAN NEVER CONSENT  TO CREEP WHEN ONE FEELS AN IMPULSE TO SOAR-  HELEN KELLER

 

Two years after I came , I was finding my true nature, my transformation is a process that continues to this day.

A number of incidents, some more significant than others brought about this change and I became aware of just how much I had changed.

I willingly passed  the road test and been granted a learner’s license and was driving by myself.

It gave me a new freedom, away from the prying eyes and minds.

Everyday, after dropping my son to his afternoon kindergarten classes, I happily headed to a favorite place -the park where I can be just by myself.

I love the solitude. Solitude is aloneness I chose and embraced.

I think great things can come out of solitude, out of going to a place where all is quiet except the beating of my heart.

It is an experience which enriched my life, giving me greater understanding of myself and surer sense of purpose.

Then Wednesdays became a special day, my son and I will go to a Chinese restaurant for an evening meal  while my husband spent his Wednesdays with his meeting friends.

My part-time casual school work gave me freer days and money of my own to spend.

My marriage has reached the point when we were barely on speaking terms. Though my marriage may have it’s ups and down, my husband and I , are companions pursuing separate interests but united by a common duty- the little boy.

As I endured  a marriage and a position which has yielded me meagre satisfaction and much pain, I am glad to be more in control of myself and my life, my fate hangs in the balance.

It is amazing how much I can learn in two years.

I realized I had salvaged one thing out of the ruin of my life as I had known it; I was still alive, and I could actually take pleasure in the feeling of my lungs  filling and emptying again.

 

 

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